I learned I'm lactose intolerant too late in life. I probably have been very lactose intolerant forever, but somehow no one was ever concerned enough to suggest I try cutting out dairy even though I was constantly very bloated and constipated. No one being concerned enough to do much was an unfortunate running theme of much of my life with abusive parents I'm no longer in contact with, though more on that another time.
It's frustrating to talk to people who are only slightly lactose intolerant and assume my intolerance must be similar. I've tried Lactaid pills. I've tried only having small amounts of dairy. I've realized that there's a spectrum of lactose tolerance and I can't tolerate much lactose at all.
It sucks that the diet in the US is so dairy-heavy (Curse you, dairy lobby!), though luckily it's getting easier to find alternatives.
Restaurants
It can be incredibly hard to find dairy-free options while eating out. Thai and Mediterranean restaurants are a good choice and you can easily find dairy free options there! Also look for restaurants that clearly mark items containing dairy on their menu. Condado Tacos is one of my favorites!
If you're extremely lactose intolerant or have an allergy, butter is unfortunately one of the hardest things to avoid. Many fried foods also contain milk in the breading. McDonald's fries even have milk powder in them, something I was very sad to discover! You can ask if you're unsure if something contains butter, or go for a vegan option to be safe.
Desserts
Ice cream can be hard to give up, but luckily there are many delicious dairy free alternatives now. Look for oat, almond, and coconut milk frozen desserts, and fruit-based ices, though not sherbet as it typically contains milk!
You can try Lactaid products, though not if you have a dairy allergy or are extremely sensitive to lactose. I'm unfortunately too sensitive to lactose to have Lactaid ice cream.
https://godairyfree.org/ is a great resource if you're new to going dairy free! There are many resources there including grocery shopping guides, recipes, and recommended restaurants listed by location!
I'll keep updating this post with some of my favorite dairy free friendly restaurants, groceries, and websites!
The following link has some of my recommended dairy free products! (Please note I earn commission on purchases.)
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